Does the following sound like you …
You’re stuck with someone who you know deep down is not making you happy, despite every excuse you’ve made for how they’re treating you, you’re losing yourself trying to make them happy.
Your flame has gone down to a spark and your friends are trying to support your wishes but are secretly tearing their hair out. It’s been months of this, even years … If this is how you’re feeling right now, this maths is the jolt to fight for yourself that you need …
I was never one for maths at school but in fairness it is what it is and you can’t argue with it. Especially when it makes your decision to stay or leave THIS BLOODY SIMPLE. My Christmas gift to you
— my personal breakup formula, the one I’ll bet Abby wishes she had in Getting Over Charlie:
Take your age:
For example: 40
Think of a rough age you might live to:
For example 80
Think of how much time your partner makes you happy and BE HONEST:
For example 50% of the time I’m happy, the rest I’m sad, neglected, lied to, worrying, depressed
Then take that percentage off the rest of your future self as follows: so if you’re 40 and you’re going to live until you’re 80, that’s 40 years of your future. You’re only happy with them 50% of the time sooo …
So get ready to write-off 50% - that’s twenty whole years - to being utterly disappointing or completely crap.
And it could get worse, you could go down to 30% happy … ugh.
Math makes your decision simple. If you’re being honest with yourself can you really sign off that many years to being unhappy?
I’d wager that chances are high that you never dreamt of being treated this way when you were growing up, so why put up with it? I get that their treatment of you may have shaken your confidence, believe me, I’ve been there, but enough is enough.
Fight for your future. You are worth it! You will get to a point where you smile again and when you’re ready, your heart will smile too. Yes you might be miserable for a few months or it might take a year to sort out logistics. Yes a picture of them make make you gasp internally at the memory, but start taking pictures of them when they’re in a mood too and look at those ones in comparison. You won’t gasp with love, you’ll shudder that you put up with it and made excuses for their behaviour for SO DAMN LONG.
You are worth fighting for.
Your future has no reason to be miserable.
Life is hard enough - you don’t need to stay in a relationship which makes it harder. Being with someone is meant to bring a higher, positive element to you. Choose to be solid on your own and then have someone who brings something TRUE and incredibly special to your life.
Life. Not strife.
It’s all in the maths …
xox Cherry
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